Santa Clive and The Delicious Succulent Cocks
by Nate-kun
Summary: Of by which I mean chickens... Sequel to Santa Klaus Is Sorta Probably Maybe Comin' To Town! RANDOM-NESS EVERYWHERE! MAJOR OOC-NESS! Rated T for some curses. Why Clive's name was changed from 'Klaus' to 'Clive'... "Oh the spoilers, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" Dated.


Let the madness...

RESUME!

* * *

Santa Clive and The Most Uninteresting, Suculant, Delicious Cocks Ever

"TOOK MY BABY!...T-TOOK MY BABIES! THEY TOOK MY-" Your probably already aware of who said that.

As the metal door to the completely white padded room opened, Klaus looked up, it was the Head Honcho of the Insane Asylum

"Klaus Dove, or rather I should call you by your real name, ahem, Klaus SnapekilledDumbledore." said the Honcho, "...Yeeeah...what? " The stupid teenager replied with, "You've been summoned for Jury Duty, not sure why, since your COMPLETELY BONKERS. But, meh, WELL WHY THE HELL NOT!" The Honcho said with an extremely happy tone at the end of his sentence.

_Meanwhile at Professor Gayt-...Layton's Office_

"Luke, we've been summoned for Jury Duty, my _fucking_ word." said the obviously OOC Professor, "Okay, PROFESSAH!" said Luke, the little annoying guy whom I wished they switched voice actors within the US and the UK **(A/N: Go on, PREDICT WHAT COUNTRY I LIVE IN, I DARE YOU!...Just so you know which voice actor of Luke I'm talking about, you know a girl voices him in Japanese? The More You Know!)**

_At the Courthouse, Clive was filling out paperwork before the trial began._

"Oh my gosh, PAPERWORK, I love paperwork, because like, I like writing my name and stuff like here's my name: K-L-A-U-S S-N-A-P-E-K-I-L-L-E-D-D-U-M-B-L-E-D-O-R-E! KLAUS SNAPEKILLEDDUMBLEDORE, YES."

_The aforementioned trial now begins, the above scene was inserted at the last minute for a cheap laugh._

The Judge, who, the author ran out of ideas for him to be, and is just a minor made-up character for no reason at all, sat down at his gigantic...chair...thingy, slamming his Gavel on it's Coaster, which was pretty wet because he used it as coaster for his beers the night before...

"Next Case: The City of London V.S Klaus SnapekilledDumbledore"

"WOAH, WOAH, WAIT! I thought I was just a Jury Member!" Klaus said, standing up, and waving his arms franticly, "No, we just used that as a clever lure to get you here, I mean, who can't STAND being a member of a Jury during a trial!" said the Judge, "Actually, we needed you here because, YOU BROKE THE LAW!"

_DUN DUN DUN!_

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure my COWS TORTURED FLORA. So WHAT?" Klaus yelled out, making everyone stare at him with pokerfaces. **(A/N: It's a meme, don't know what it is? Search "Pokerface meme" on Google Images or something, T-T)**

"Uh...What the bloody _hell_ are you talking about...?" The Judge said, twitching his bottom lip and eye a bit, "Wait..so it's not about the cows..?" ... "Err...No. No it's not, it's about you CHANGING YOUR NAME ILLEGALLY!"

_DUN DUN DUN!_

"What in God's name do you mean.." Klaus face-palmed, the Judge was as sharp as a bowling ball, "According to these documents, on September 12, 2010, you changed your name to CLIVE!...THAT'S A STUPID NAME!" The Judge shouted, waving his arms franticly as _Clive_ clearly did like three paragraphs ago, "I had to change my name! They said the little kids in _EverywhereButJapan_ would get mixed up with a name like Klaus! Something about demanding presents from me or _bullcrap_ like that."

Luke was about to stand up and say something, but since we all hate his voice, Layton smacked him back down and stood up on his own, "I support Clive's claim, as I was there with him when the idiots changed his name by force."

The Judge facepalmed, looking at Layton, "You're a freaking Jury Member, you don't SPEAK till it's time to say if Clive's guilty or not, GOD!" Layton sat down, frowning, "Now, according to these claims, you've also gone under OTHER alias!" The Judge said, Clive twitching a bit, remembering how long it was between Japan's release of The Unwound Future to release in other regions, _TWO BLOODY YEARS, PEOPLE! _

"According to the claims, these names were used because no one knew how to freaking translate Japanese, as hard as a language it is to learn, I'm still ashamed, apparently you also bypassed as,"

"WAIT NO DON'T SAY I-!"

"Legal."

"NO, PLEA-!"

"Future Luke."

"OKAY, well that ones normal, I guess..?"

"The aforementioned Klaus."

"Okay, that names a bit kickarse."

"Legal!Luke"

"OH COME ON! THAT'S NOT EVEN A NAME! IT HAS A PUNCUTATION MARK IN IT!"

"The new "Clive" ''

"OH GOD, that's the WORST of them all!"

"Mac Daddy Klau- Wait what?"

"Err...Don't question that, your honor!"

"I'll see to it that I don't." The Judge facepalmed, looking at Clive, "Well since we don't have ANY evidence, OR A LAWYER, or a to REVERSE your name BACK to Klaus, your name WILL STAY Clive, FOREVER!...Not that you'll have any other appearances in newer Layton games, I mean, COME ON, you were a one-shot game character but everyone's treating you like you appeared in EVERY single game!"

"NO NO NO NO NO! CLIVE IS A STUPID NAME!" Clive shouted, as the camera zoomed out dramatically.

"Now, should Clive be sent to Jail for this? What's the Jury's verdict? Since I'm a jerk, I'm only giving you FIVE seconds to respond, "One."

The Jury suddenly turned and they all talked to themselves, "Two." , Once they all agreed on something, they all turned to face the Judge. "Three." Luke stood up to defend the Jury, but Layton decided that since he's an annoying arse, he should do it instead, "Four." Layton cleared his throat, and then finally spoke before the Judge could finish his jerkish counting, "We the Jury, find Clive SnapekilledDumbledore, GUILTY!"

_DUN DUN DUN!_

"But Professor! I thought we were friends!" Clive shouted, jumping around with waterfalls of tears flowing out of his eyes, "My boy, you tried to destroy all of London and killed a lot of people in attempting to do so, basically what I am trying to say, my boy, is that your _fucked_ up." Layton sat down, crossing his arms.

"Okaaaay...I guess since we have no other way of punishment, Clive SnapekilledDumbledore, you have been sentenced to two months in the asylum," The Judge suddenly had a serious tone in his voice, with a pokerface, "You'll be out somewhere around March 25th, 2011 or March 27th at a starting price of $249.99/¥25,000 or retailer-defined price." At the look of this, Clive turned to the non-existant camera with a sheepish smile and two thumbs up.

Everyone turned to leave the Courthouse, Clive being dragged away by two men in white coats as the front side of his body faced everyone else, "I WILL REMEMBER THIS! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

Layton gave him the bloody finger in response.

"Well I guess everything is settled the- OH MY GOD WE FORGOT FLORA." Luke said, the author being nice to let him say a sentence in this story.

_Meanwhile_

"MOOOOOOOOOOO!" Translation: "Wow! I didn't know HUMAN meat was so delicious!"

"Moo MOO MOOOO Moo.." Translation: "Quite scrumptious I might add!"

"I know right! And it only took 75% of my entire human flesh to make! But don't worry, it turns out I'm part cyborg, so I'll be fine!" Flora said, half of her face chipped off to reveal a robot face with her eye shining a dark red hue.

"MOOOOOOO!" Translation: "I guess everything turned out just peachy then!"

At this, all the Don Paolo Cows and Cyborg-Flora chuckled in unison, as a black circle encased all of the background, making everything in this scene turn blank and non-existant, like the end of a cartoon or, something.

Stachenscarfen bursted out of this blankness, revealing it was all just paper, as he said, "T-T-T-T-T-T-T-THAT'S ALL FOLKS!" Smiling a stupid smile only he could have...

_The End..._

Or it would've been if Jean Descole's bloody hand wouldn't be reaching out of the volcano, implying he survived his death in the 6th game, which the author just made up.

_The End...?_

But then Descole slipped, lost grip of the volcano edge, and fell back in..

_The End..._

* * *

For a Sequel, I think I did pretty good, honestly, I think I could have done better, but oh well, hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to review!


End file.
